Sandy asks…
my stepson likes to wear girl clothing.?
he is five and right now is curled up in his sisters princess toddler bed watching a princess movie. she is three and they each have their own rooms and tvs. i heard from his older brother who is seven that he dresses in her clothes, tights, panties and wants to wear jewelry and high heels. what does this mean psychological. his dad had a fit and told him not to ever do that when he was at his moms house or even here. one time he came over here with his finger nails painted because his grandmother who lives with him painted them dark. i wonder what this means. it hasn't happened just a few times thought, its happened alot over there at his moms house. he is very interested in all of my gaudy jewelry and likes to play house and dolls with his little sister even though he has his own really cool room. his big brother and him play but now he likes big boy things and our five year old is stuck between toddler and big boy.
admin answers:
It could just be a phase. As people said, it could just be his way of seeking attention. But there is always the chance that he may be gay. I have heard many stories of people who are now gay going through the same thing as young children. Wanting the girl toys, etc.
There is also this story that i saw on 20/20. Http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Story?id=3072518&page=1
Interesting, but as i said, you can't tell the future.
Just make sure all parent figures are ready to support him no matter what!
Linda asks…
Is my writing piece any good?
I was in a creative mood today, so i wrote a little piece from the point of view of a mother watching her baby grow before her eyes. please read it all and tell me what you think, and be honest please. I didn't spend more than ten minutes on it, but i'm bored and curious as to what you all think.
Also note that i'm ONLY 14 and that i'm a beginning writer.
My daughter was the prettiest little baby. She was a bouncing bundle of bright eyed giggles and little happy gurgles that didn’t translate into words, but whose meaning was as bright and clear as her tortoiseshell eyes. Only a mother’s love can explain the way my heart would swell with pride each time she cooed or clucked in the mysterious dialect of toddlers, and at each hiccupping convulsion of chuckles.
She grew in leaps and bounds, her features developing and aging far too fast, always too fast. As I sift through the folders of her lifetime’s creations, its mind boggling to flip from the finger painted thanksgiving turkey to a 12 point font, neatly formatted report on the Lord of the Flies. My baby never slowed down, growing under my very gaze.
Was it not just yesterday that I saw her off to her first half day of afternoon kindergarten, as she clung to the leg of my pants, gazing up at me large, frightened eyes, her thumb planted firmly in her mouth? When did we stop our weekly visits to the public library, during which she selected the same picture books we had borrowed time and time again, which she clutched to her chest on the car ride home in anticipation of that night’s story session? When did she stop believing in cooties and clutching my hand, picking me dandelions and insisting that I push her on the swing just ten more times? When did she start wearing eyeliner and getting asked on dates and having whispering conversations with her friends in the confines of her room about the male anatomy? When did she start her first job, start straightening her hair, and start shooing me away in public? Why did she grow up so fast?
I remember when she bounced up to me, rosy cheeked and beaming, missing her two front teeth. How she tugged me along with her little mittened hand, prancing ahead and glancing over her shoulder to make sure that I was following. How she trudged through the 16 inch snow to her two charming little snowmen, one little-girl sized, and one as mommy-sized as her eight year old body could manage. How their little twig arms touched at the ends—holding hands. How she became as concerned as an eight year old could muster and threw her arms around my waist when she spotted the beginnings of tears in my eyes, and how I explained that I was crying because I was so happy. How she gazed me firmly in the eyes and declared “Mommy, don’t even happy cry…when you are happy, you should SMILE.” And I did.
Now I watch her unload the dishwasher, humming along to a new-fangled song playing full volume on her ipod. I watch her show off her new skinny jeans and use terms that I knew she hadn’t learned in my household. I drive her to high school and watch her hastily scramble out of the van to meet up with her co-ed gaggle of friends, noticing her wince when I wave goodbye.
But as alien as she has become, my baby is still there. I recognize the rosy cheeked grin as she practically skips to the doorstep. I recognize it as the grin of my little girl. It doesn’t matter that her adult teeth have grown in, and that they’ve been perfected by 2 and a half years’ worth of braces. She tries to hide it sometimes, but she is still my little honeypie. And I want to plant a kiss on her head when she shyly asks me to take her shopping for her homecoming dress. And I feel, as she had once put it, “all tingly in my tummy” when she bids me goodnight with a kiss and an “I love you mom.”
“I love you mom.” It would have never occurred to me, some 30 years ago, that four simple words could mean the world to me. But my little girl has put my through thick and thin. And she will always be my baby, even when she suddenly doesn’t recognize me when her friends are around, or when she gives me an eyeroll and a “You’re such a MOM.” Because, I am HER mom, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
admin answers:
Aww this is really cute. It sounds great for you only being fourteen. Keep up the good writing :)
William asks…
Any advice on how to discipline my 7 y/o son and am I a bad mother?
When I discipline my children, I always remain calm, consistent and serious. I also reward them when they're behaving good. This has worked for my 14 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. However, this has not worked for my 7 year old son. When he was a baby, I tried to wean him off my breasts and he would cry for an hour and didn't sleep and didn’t take naps for 4 nights until I gave up gave him my breast. Then I took him off my breast for 1 month and he did not sleep for that entire month. 3 days after he turned 2, I threw away his bottle and pacifier. He cried for 1 month and did not sleep for 1 month. He always refused to take naps as a toddler and when he was in his bed he would not fall asleep. When he was 2, we were at the park and my son threw a stick at a 2 year old girl. I gave him a warning that if he threw the stick again, he would be in time out. He threw the stick and he was in time out. He kept getting up for 6 hours and later the girl came back and it took me 1 more hour to get him to apologize. He threw his plastic duck toys at me in the kitchen. I put him in time out and he would not apologize for 1 day no matter how many times I put him back. I can't get him to eat healthy foods. He threw a tantrum when I put him in time out. I told him if he doesn't eat his food he can't eat anything else, he would not eat for 5 days when I told him he had to eat healthy foods. He almost starved himself so I gave him junk food. I can't get him to fall asleep. When he was 4, I used Supernanny's bedtime technique and he kept getting up for the whole night. When it was 1:00 AM, I took away some of his toys, got down to his level and gave him a warning that I would take away the rest of his toys if he didn't go to bed and fall asleep and he didn't listen. His teacher keeps complaining that he can't focus and keeps getting up in class. 4 months ago, I was grocery shopping when my cell phone rang telling me to pick up my son from school because he threw a tape dispenser at a girl in his class. We had a meeting with my son's homeroom teacher, the principal, and the girl's parents. Her parents took her to the doctor to make sure she was OK. My son said he did it because the teacher put him in time out because he got up from his seat because the teacher told him to do his work and he said the teacher couldn't tell him what do. I grounded my son for a week and he was not allowed to use electronics for one week (including TV and computer). He got angry scratched me and told me he is the boss of himself and can do what he wants. 3 months ago at 3:00 AM, the police knocked on my door stating my son spray painted a few neighbors' cars. I had to stay in his room all night to make sure he doesn't sneak out and I'm tired because of this. In the morning, I looked at a few of the neighbors cars and they were covered in spray paint. I asked my son where did he got the spray paint and he said he took it from the neighbor's garage. He said he did it because he was angry at me because I didn't let him do what he wants. I didn't know what to do so I got him psychiatrically evaluated and tested for ADHD, HDD, Autism, Bi-polar, personality disorder, Huntington's disease, childhood/paranoid Schizophrenia, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. He was not violent with the psychiatrist but he did deny what I said he did. Medication didn't help him and he said he will continue to do what he wants. He did try to choke his 3 year old cousin in the summer while she and my cousin were staying. He still gets angry and violent. Any advice on how to discipline him and am I a bad mother?
He has an active father who also doesn't know what to do.
admin answers:
Punch the kid in the mouth
Steven asks…
Any advice on how to discipline my 7 y/o son and am I a bad mother?
When I discipline my children, I always remain calm, consistent and serious. I also reward them when they're behaving good. This has worked for my 14 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. However, this has not worked for my 7 year old son. When he was a baby, I tried to wean him off my breasts and he would cry for an hour and didn't sleep and didn’t take naps for 4 nights until I gave up gave him my breast. Then I took him off my breast for 1 month and he did not sleep for that entire month. 3 days after he turned 2, I threw away his bottle and pacifier. He cried for 1 month and did not sleep for 1 month. He always refused to take naps as a toddler and when he was in his bed he would not fall asleep. When he was 2, we were at the park and my son threw a stick at a 2 year old girl. I gave him a warning that if he threw the stick again, he would be in time out. He threw the stick and he was in time out. He kept getting up for 6 hours and later the girl came back and it took me 1 more hour to get him to apologize. He threw his plastic duck toys at me in the kitchen. I put him in time out and he would not apologize for 1 day no matter how many times I put him back. I can't get him to eat healthy foods. He threw a tantrum when I put him in time out. I told him if he doesn't eat his food he can't eat anything else, he would not eat for 5 days when I told him he had to eat healthy foods. He almost starved himself so I gave him junk food. I can't get him to fall asleep. When he was 4, I used Supernanny's bedtime technique and he kept getting up for the whole night. When it was 1:00 AM, I took away some of his toys, got down to his level and gave him a warning that I would take away the rest of his toys if he didn't go to bed and fall asleep and he didn't listen. His teacher keeps complaining that he can't focus and keeps getting up in class. 4 months ago, I was grocery shopping when my cell phone rang telling me to pick up my son from school because he threw a tape dispenser at a girl in his class. We had a meeting with my son's homeroom teacher, the principal, and the girl's parents. Her parents took her to the doctor to make sure she was OK. My son said he did it because the teacher put him in time out because he got up from his seat because the teacher told him to do his work and he said the teacher couldn't tell him what do. I grounded my son for a week and he was not allowed to use electronics for one week (including TV and computer). He got angry scratched me and told me he is the boss of himself and can do what he wants. 3 months ago at 3:00 AM, the police knocked on my door stating my son spray painted a few neighbors' cars. I had to stay in his room all night to make sure he doesn't sneak out and I'm tired because of this. In the morning, I looked at a few of the neighbors cars and they were covered in spray paint. I asked my son where did he got the spray paint and he said he took it from the neighbor's garage. He said he did it because he was angry at me because I didn't let him do what he wants. I didn't know what to do so I got him psychiatrically evaluated and tested for ADHD, HDD, Autism, Bi-polar, personality disorder, Huntington's disease, childhood/paranoid Schizophrenia, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. He was not violent with the psychiatrist but he did deny what I said he did. Medication didn't help him and he said he will continue to do what he wants. He did try to choke his 3 year old cousin in the summer while she and my cousin were staying. He still gets angry and violent. Any advice on how to discipline him and am I a bad mother?
He has an active father who also doesn't know what to do.
admin answers:
I wish i knew. He sounds like a nightmare!
Call supernanny, get her to live with him for a week.
If you have managed to raise 2 decent kids, ahead of him, you aren't a bad parent.
Video him for a whole week, and take the tape to his psychiatrist. Show him hard evidence.
Or get the cops to put him in a cell overnight. He can scream and strop all he wants, there is nothing in them to break.
Good luck!
Also, check his diet. Give him only fruit, veg, water and milk for a couple of days. He could be intolerant to a particular food.
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