Girls Room Painting Techniques

Charles asks…

Did she want to be/was she expecting a kiss?

I usually do this thing when im joking around/flirting with girls where after they do or say something worthy of commenting on i stop talking and just stare at them. It works best when theyre doing something already (like on computer, painting, etc). after a while they realize im staring.. a quick glance up to see, look down, a longer glance up, look down.. until we're holding eye contact. i hold it for about 3 or seconds and then laugh or something to break the tension. its just fun to do

the other day i was in this girl's room. im not sure if she likes me because she's been "talking" to some guy but at the same time has hooked up with others b4. So anyway i do my technique on her but while she's doing the glance up & look down, she's like biting her bottom lower lip with a slight smile on her face. so basically after she stopped looking down, her head was angled so that she was looking up at me. we were close enough for a kiss but idk i wasnt sure so i just broke the tension with a laugh.
damn lol... hopefully im not in the friend zone

admin answers:

She might've been. Ur 'technique' does give of the impression that u want to kiss her so she probably thought it was ok for her to do that. Or she wasnt expecting a kiss and was just flirting with u. Either way from what u wrote she was being more than friendly :3

Richard asks…

what about these three to continue the laughter did they ?

Texan Poetry

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”

The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

“'Slowly across the desert sand

Trekked the dusty caravan.

Men on camels, two by two

Destination -- Timbuktu.”

The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.

Met three whores in a pop-up tent.


They was three, we was two,

So I bucked one and Timbuktu”



A Freshmans Guide to Bra Removal

OBJECTIVE

To disengage said bra without looking like an idiot.

WHAT YOU NEED

1) Girl with bra

2) Two functional hands

3) Common Sense

TECHNIQUES

1) THE HOUDINI HUG -- Using sleight-of-hand, place arms around girl and unhook bra. Try to refrain from saying, "Ta-da!"

2) MCGYVER'S OFF-THE-SHOULDER SLIDE -- An alternative method to use after ten minutes of unsuccessful hugging.

3) HILTON'S LAST RESORT -- Beg like a dog and learn to absorb the harsh sound of wicked laughter.


DO NOT USE: scissors, blowtorch, pliers, wire strippers, cutlery, Black Magic, staple remover, chainsaw, brute strength, CB4, set of lock picks, or chisel and hammer.

WARNING: When removing a bra you should not say the following:

1) "I really want to thank you for this."

2) "Dammit! I thought they were bigger."

3) "Do you have any cereal?"



Signs You Have a Hangover

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets.

Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still."

Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.

You'd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight.

You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.

You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.

The bathroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, "Step right up and give it whirl!"

All day long your motto is, "Never again."

You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.

Your natural response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!"

admin answers:

Wonderful and absolutely brilliant. I loved them.

Linda asks…

What should I do about this Dream!??!?!?!?

So I had this dream last night and I want to know what it means.

So it was one of those lucid dreams that felt real.

I warn you its extremely sexual and deviate.


I remember waking up in a pink heart shaped bed.

So my adventure started in a episode of Hannah Montana, all I can really remember about it was having hot passionate and quite disturbing sex with Miley Cyrus while her father stood over us and critiqued my every movement, still tonight I don't want to go to bed for the fear of Billy Ray Cyrus screaming "HARDER!".

Not to short after I rolled over and fell asleep in my dream, very odd I know, a dream inside of a dream. But in this dream it became even more abstract, I became sexually involved in a love circle with Minny and Mickey Mouse. Not long did I found out that Minny was actually a bio logically engineered version of Mickey wear make-up, just as they were both about to penetrate me in every orifice I awoke from my dream inside my dream ( I'm still dreaming). It was then I met a small very petite midget named Pete who had painted himself blue, he invited me to a party down in the local bar but I insisted I couldn't drink but he dragged me along anyway.

About 2 hours later I'm down at the bar getting hammered and I remembered seeing this insanely beautiful girl, I mustered up my courage and tampered over to her and asked her if she'd like to go get a room. She obliged. After a night of rigorous and painfully great sex I awoke in the morning; Clasped ever so tightly in the arms of a middle aged African American, as I felt his beard brush against my neck I jumped out of bed only to realize that I was now in knee deep marshmellow mix. The bed that was once in front of me began to change shape and morph into a colossal marshmellow shaped beast. He held out a golden rod shaped like a dildo, he gave me the task of penetrating and ending the rule the Evil Lord Gannonsmurf, it was then that I was transported 7 years back in time.

Just as I'm transported, I find myself in a marketsquare and I'm instantly besieged by Gannonsmurfs henchmen although they have superior fighting skills, I was able to fend them of and send them to the bowls of Hades with my golden dildo. I make a hasty getaway and retreat to an enormous mountain range just south of Gannonsmurfs great citadel; it is here I spend 3 years training with a secret tribe of tibetan monks who have mastered an art of Psycho-Molestation. It is with this power that I was able to single handedly destroy gannonsmurf and his legion of Hatchet wielding dwarfs.

At the Climax of the dream I'm standing over the sleeping form of Gannonsmurf as I am about to use my Psycho-Molestation techniques, the moonlight shines in through a nearby window and I realize that I notice this man. It's Pete from the Bar. It turns out Pete had went forward in time to stop me but the marshmellow beast had disguised himself has a enchanting woman to allure me and bestow upon me the tools of Petes demise. As this rush of knowledge hits me, I stare down at his body as I unleash the most graphic and unbelievable form of Sex Toy Foreplay on Pete. It was then dream ended.

I woke up in my neighbors house with a turkey baster and 3 dead bodies in the living room what should I do? I'm afraid I'll get in trouble!

admin answers:

LOL.
This is good stuff.

Sandra asks…

What should I do about this dream?

So I had this dream last night and I want to know what it means.

So it was one of those lucid dreams that felt real.

I warn you its extremely sexual and deviate.


I remember waking up in a pink heart shaped bed.

So my adventure started in a episode of Hannah Montana, all I can really remember about it was having hot passionate and quite disturbing sex with Miley Cyrus while her father stood over us and critiqued my every movement, still tonight I don't want to go to bed for the fear of Billy Ray Cyrus screaming "HARDER!".

Not to short after I rolled over and fell asleep in my dream, very odd I know, a dream inside of a dream. But in this dream it became even more abstract, I became sexually involved in a love circle with Minny and Mickey Mouse. Not long did I found out that Minny was actually a bio logically engineered version of Mickey wear make-up, just as they were both about to penetrate me in every orifice I awoke from my dream inside my dream ( I'm still dreaming). It was then I met a small very petite midget named Pete who had painted himself blue, he invited me to a party down in the local bar but I insisted I couldn't drink but he dragged me along anyway.

About 2 hours later I'm down at the bar getting hammered and I remembered seeing this insanely beautiful girl, I mustered up my courage and tampered over to her and asked her if she'd like to go get a room. She obliged. After a night of rigorous and painfully great sex I awoke in the morning; Clasped ever so tightly in the arms of a middle aged African American, as I felt his beard brush against my neck I jumped out of bed only to realize that I was now in knee deep marshmellow mix. The bed that was once in front of me began to change shape and morph into a colossal marshmellow shaped beast. He held out a golden rod shaped like a dildo, he gave me the task of penetrating and ending the rule the Evil Lord Gannonsmurf, it was then that I was transported 7 years back in time.

Just as I'm transported, I find myself in a marketsquare and I'm instantly besieged by Gannonsmurfs henchmen although they have superior fighting skills, I was able to fend them of and send them to the bowls of Hades with my golden dildo. I make a hasty getaway and retreat to an enormous mountain range just south of Gannonsmurfs great citadel; it is here I spend 3 years training with a secret tribe of tibetan monks who have mastered an art of Psycho-Molestation. It is with this power that I was able to single handedly destroy gannonsmurf and his legion of Hatchet wielding dwarfs.

At the Climax of the dream I'm standing over the sleeping form of Gannonsmurf as I am about to use my Psycho-Molestation techniques, the moonlight shines in through a nearby window and I realize that I notice this man. It's Pete from the Bar. It turns out Pete had went forward in time to stop me but the marshmellow beast had disguised himself has a enchanting woman to allure me and bestow upon me the tools of Petes demise. As this rush of knowledge hits me, I stare down at his body as I unleash the most graphic and unbelievable form of Sex Toy Foreplay on Pete. It was then dream ended.

I woke up in my neighbors house with a turkey baster and 3 dead bodies in the living room what should I do? I'm afraid I'll get in trouble!

admin answers:

Either this person is reading too many fiction books, or is full of it.

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