Charles asks…
THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY..HELP!!!?
So I'm having a dance party. In the theme of the movie's "New Moon, and Twilight" sort've.
I already have most things planned for the decorations. Like posters of the characters, strobe lights, disco mirror balls, and a disco light, and im hanging CD's from the ceiling! and twinkly star's. and i'm going to have a black light, with neon curtains around the walls of the whole room.
It's going to be a good four hour's and most people won't dance that whole time. It's a boy and girl party.I need some good games to play that aren't little kids games and aren't corny. Like I don't want anything like musical chairs, or tag, or any of that littler kid's stuff.
And no trivial games or stuff like that. I'm inviting about 50 people, so no things that require like up to 6 people!
I'm sorry I know this is a hard question, haha. (:
If anybody has any game idea's, it would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
admin answers:
Man, that is a hard question. Personally, I wouldn't plan much of anything, most teenagers (I would know, being one myself) don't like a whole bunch of games and being tied to a schedule. Maybe play some karaoke? My friends love this. Plus a lot of teens just like to sit and talk about stuff... You know, the usual 'oh my god she is wearing the same shirt as me, what a b**ch!' or the ever so popular 'did you see that guy? He is so hot!'. Ahah, at least that what I do with my friends. Just let them chill and have a good time. Some good friends, food and music should do the trick. Happy Birthday! :]
Michael asks…
Thirteenth birthday party help?!?
Okay my birthday is in April, I know a long ways away.
But I like to have everything planned out early. I'm a kid you know, i'm overly excited. haha. :)
So I'm having a dance party. In the theme of the movie's "New Moon, and Twilight."
I already have most things planned for the decorations. Like posters of the characters, strobe lights, disco mirror balls, and a disco light, and im hanging CD's from the ceiling! and twinkly star's. and i'm going to have a black light, with neon curtains around the walls of the whole room.
It's going to be a good four hour's and most people won't dance that whole time. It's a boy and girl party.I need some good games to play that aren't little kids games and aren't corny. Like I don't want anything like musical chairs, or tag, or any of that littler kid's stuff.
If anybody has any game idea's, it would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
Oh and there will be about 50 people there.. And no murder mystery stuff.
admin answers:
7 minutes in heaven or spin the bottle or suck and blow....you have to suck on a playing card and pass it to other ppl without it falling down or else you kiss them =D
Mandy asks…
What do you think of My Dramatic Monologue Story for GCSE Coursework English?
Parts in Brackets () are Stage Directions and the first and last paragraphs are also stage directions.
(Someone is talking casually on a radio broadcast called “Inside Out.” This person is sitting in his bedroom. The room is smothered with “Doctor Who” Posters and astronomy memorabilia. This “someone” seems to be a teenager. He tends to stay on the bed which is right next to the window, so he can look out of it when he’s bored. The sound will also amplify (get louder) at certain moments).
Doctor Who was on the TV today. I’ve liked the program ever since Jake introduced it to me. I like to think as Jake as my Brother, as we share a room together. Jake and Mum have just popped out to the shop to go and get some food for tonight. (Sound amplifies) I hope they get back soon.
Fade
It’s getting near to Christmas, so Jake and Mum started putting up some Christmas Decorations in Jake’s Bedroom. I didn’t want to get involved so I watched from the bed. To be honest I felt really tired from not getting much sleep the night before. Jake kept me up all night with his continuous snoring. I wish I’d helped to put up the decorations because it was really boring watching Mum and Jake do everything.
Fade
I noticed Jake was rehearsing for his school play “Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat.” I didn’t know which character he was supposed to be but Jake was singing a lot of songs and generally wearing a big long coat with lots of colours on it. (He shrugs his arms and thinks hard for five seconds) I don’t know… anyway he was a character. I thought he was really good in rehearsal, the only downfall was the high notes when he was singing which were sometimes painful to listen to but otherwise he was fantastic!(Sound amplifies) anyway I applauded him on his performance but he just chucked his coat on the bed and ran down the stairs for tea – teenagers these days hey?
Fade
Jake had some friends come round earlier on today. As soon as I heard the door bell ring at eleven o’clock, a buzz of excitement went through my body. They came up to the room and started playing board games and having numerous goes on the X-BOX. I wanted to have a go but Jake never offered and his friends didn’t even greet me! I think Jake found me a bit embarrassing to be honest…maybe I just didn’t fit in.
Fade
I swear Jake is the least observant person I know. He came into the bedroom yesterday afternoon whilst I was having a little nap and he threw himself up into the air and landed on the double bed with a thump and I being so small went flying off the bed and onto the ground and because the TV was on so loud he hadn’t even noticed. It was a minute later when he realised I had fallen off the bed (he tuts and presumably shakes his head) and guess what, he didn’t even offer to help me back up! I decided to just sit on the floor to prove my point and I only got back onto the bed when Mum came into to get the laundry. (Sound amplifies) something is not quite right here.
Fade
There’s this girl called Annie who lives across the street from us (there is a long pause whilst he is thinking of Annie. After five seconds he carries on speaking): Whenever I see her I get a shiver run down my spine. Well, she is gorgeous - her hair is as wavy as the sea and her skin is as smooth as silk (There is a longer pause for about 10 seconds this time, as scratching can be heard).(Sound amplifies) I wish my skin was as smooth as hers; mine nowadays tends to be worn and hairy.
Fade
Mum was tidying Jake’s room yesterday ready for when Jake got home from school. I’ve only ever been to school once and that was when I went with Jake on a mufti day. (Sound amplifies) that was five years ago, can you believe it! Jake was only eight years old then (He suddenly becomes sad but doesn’t start to cry)… they were happy times. Times when I truly felt loved and cared for. Instead of feeling neglected and isolated in my own home! Jake is growing up and living his life to the full so why he does he need me.
Fade
(Sound amplifies) I came to this house when Jake was only three. Before, I used to live in a shop where I would slump to the floor all day, every day just waiting for someone to take me in and take good care of me. That was when I first found Linda and Jake. I can still remember the moment when mine and Jake’s eyes first met. From that moment on we were instantly attached. I would go everywhere with him and he would love me and talk to me, he made me feel special (long pause while he thinks back). At that time, Mum was going through a tough time with the divorce settlement and Jake and I were both upset: but do you know what got us through? It was the fact that we both had each other.
Fade
Mum and Jake were in the study today talking about me. Mum said “if you don’t want him anymore – he can go. There is no point keeping him around for much longer. I mean, he’s only a possession.” Jake replied “Fine just get rid of IT.” I have
admin answers:
Its good but it says jake quite a lot. Try changing jake to him in some places. And where it says hey write "eh" instead
Betty asks…
just started writing a story tell me what you think of it ?
“I can’t believe were actually here!” My best friend Jen yipped as we walked down St. Ann’s Boarding School hallway.
“I know, after all the begging and pleading I did to get here” I said as I admired the picture on the wall.
“Okay girls, this is the gym room” Our tour guide Candace stated.
“Who is he?” I loudly asked as I checked out the shirtless boy, with the dark hair and amazing smile.
“Oh that’s Drew. He’s quite something around here.” Candace answered. “Drew!” She called waving him over. The boy came running over to us with a gorgeous smile on his face.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing much just showing these Freshmen girls around.”
“Seems like we have some hot freshmen here this year” Drew stated as he flirted with me with his eyebrow by lifting them up twice then winked. I blushed as I glanced over at Jen.
“Are we still on for tonight?”
“Um…actually the boys and I are going to be practicing late today for the big game, next Friday?”
“Sure”
“Great” Drew yipped before he ran off.
“Don’t feel special or anything, he flirts with all the girls. That’s how he got me”
“Is he your boyfriend?” I asked.
“Why would I be telling you?”
I shrugged my shoulders before we moved on.
“What’s your dorm number?” Jen asked as she looked at her schedule.
“210, your?”
“305, rats that’s an whole new level. I was hoping we shared dorms”
“Me too”
“Oh trust me you’ll never share a dorm with your best friend your first year here. By then you’ll have a new clique and forget all about them”
“I don’t think that would happen to Jen and I”
“Yeah, we’ve know each other since diapers”
“whatever you say” Candace said with a smirk.
I finally arrived to room 210. I heard Avirl Lavigne song Skater boy playing as I stood in the doorway trying to open it. When I finally got inside a familiar looking girl with long blonde hair sat on the x-long twin size bed with hot pink covers.
“Ashley?” She asked as she turned down the music.
“Omigosh hi!” I yipped as I hugged Stacy. Stacy and I’ve known each other since middle school. But eight grade year she moved and I’ve never heard from her since.
“I can’t believe it, I never thought I would even see one of my friend from middle school ever again”
“It’s a small world after all” I joked as I sat my luggage on the other side of the room from Stacy’s.
“I see you already decorated the room” I stated as I started to unpack my luggage.
“Yeah, but you could put your decoration up too” Stacy stated as she look around the room finding somewhere for me to put my decoration. “How about you decorate the outside of our door” I shrugged my shoulders as I looked around the room. Although I wanted to put up some of my decoration Stacy did a pretty good job of decorating it. She decorated everything pink and that was my favorite color. “do you know what time lunch is I’m starving”
“Um… I like five minuets” I answered as I looked at the time on my cell phone.
“Want to head down there?”
“Yeah” I said as I quickly rushed out the door.
“Gosh here she come” Stacy moaned.
“Who?” I asked with an confused look on my face.
“My cousin, I hate her” Stacy mumbled just before Candace was standing right in front of our face.
“Hey Stacy!” Candace yipped before she hugged her. Stacy quickly pushed Candace off of her. “Where you heading off too?”
“Somewhere your obviously not”
“The cafeteria?”
“Yeah”
“I figured. Stacy you got to lay off babe. Your almost bigger than me”
“Well, I rather eat then starve myself how you did”
“You don’t have any proof”
“Candace I didn’t come here to argue with you now where’s the cafeteria”
“Why should I tell you”
“Bitch” Stacy angrily mumbled before we walked off.
“I still love you!” Candace screamed from behind.
“She’s so annoying!” Stacy moaned.
“Did she really do an eating disorder?” I asked.
“She used to be a little heavy, then like one month later she was skinny as an stick so that’s why I say she did one”
Stacy and I had no clue where the cafeteria was. The school was so big you could easily get lost, it’s as big as the twin towers before they were bombed. Okay maybe I’m over extravagating but it’s big.
“Oh there’s the map of the school!’ I yipped as I pointed to the big board in the gym room. Stacy and I hurried over to the board.
“Okay so where in the gym, we need to go-”
“You ladies looking for something?’ Drew asked as he walked over to us.
“The lunch room” I answered with an huge smile on my face.
“Go down a little farther then make an right”
“Thanks” I siad as I tried to walk off.
“You got to hug me before you leave” Drew said with an smirk. I giggle before Stacy and I hurried off without me hugging him.
“He’s cute” Stacy said.
“I know, I think he’s an Sophomore”
“Remember we should ask the ugliest guys in the school out then break up with them like the next day?” Stacy giggled.
“Yeah, remember Bobby started to cry when I broke up with him, he actuall
thanks u guys i read ove rit n i also thought i used the word 'yipped' way 2 much
also i checked ou the chapter read site thanks alot!
admin answers:
I'll leave it for others to upbraid you about the dialogue. Here is my assessment:
1. Punctuation and spelling suffers greatly. Find a reputable grammar book such as Strunk and White's, "The Elements of Style."
2. Get rid of the excessive 'yipped' and 'yips' in your tags. They are annoyances to the reader.
3. Replace the dreary tags that follow your dialogue and preface the dialogue with action sentences that describe the moment.
4. Edit and edit some more for clarity, action, and character definitions.
5. Continue writing and honing the craft. Be patient and persistent. Strive for excellence in the written word.
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