Toddler Girls Room Paint

Richard asks…

I'm concerned about ADHD and my 4 year old son?

My son is 4 years old, will be turning 5 in about 2 months. He has always been a handful, a very busy boy, and very headstrong. He is definitely a "spirited child" under that definition. But I wonder if there is more to it than that. I'm wondering lately if he may have ADHD or something else.

The thing is that he IS able to focus, sometimes for very long periods of time. He will play and build with lego for an hour; he will play with figurines in his room for a long time; he will sit and read chapter books with me for an hour; he can sit through a 2-hour movie; he loves crafts and will colour or paint and he does great with this at school. He is great with his baby sisters (twin 1.5 year olds) - he is gentle, plays with them, shares everything with them. But he vies for attention too.

Ok so that all sounds good but here's where we're having problems. He's fidgety at the dinner table, will often just get up, even fall off his chair because he is being silly. We have moved his chair right beside mine and this is helping. He is often uncooperative and challenges authority. He doesn't like to change activities...when it's time to get dressed, leave the house, mealtime and he is busy playing...he protests, complains. He used to throw tantrums over this but now just complains, not all the time but often enough. And we have to ask many times to get him to do it, or guide him in doing it where he CAN do it himself. Is this laziness? Or something else?

He gets into bad moods for no apparent reason. Will say things like, "I hate going to the store." just for the sake of saying it, he doesn't even mean it. He'll keep saying it until someone responds...we try to ignore this but he is persistent!!

He misbehaves at school...got in trouble for leaving line-up, got in trouble for pulling girls' hair, and now he's been poking, pulling hair, making angry faces, and pulling up kid's shirts in his class. This seems to stem from some social issues and him not knowing how to make friends as he is only in junior kindergarten (4 year olds) and this is his first time with a large group of peers. He chews his shirt sleeves and has bitten things that are inappropriate - example we were shopping on the weekend and he was in a silly/hyper mood and bit the stroller's handle for no reason.

He is forgetful and leaves items at school on a regular basis - mitts, hat, snowpants, lunch sack. At the same time, he is very smart. He is a geography whiz, knows all the planets, knows country flags, huge interest in reading/books, remembers things from years ago, has interests that are often above his age level.

He can be the sweetest, calmest little boy sometimes and other times he is the opposite. It is so frustrating!! My husband and are trying very hard...we are loving, good people, and we do have rules at home, consequences, and there is discipline. We are now scratching our heads because we feel like we are doing everything we can do. Is it normal for it to be this hard? Is it his age? Could it be jealousy (from having twin toddler siblings)?

admin answers:

I believe it is jealousy from the twins, a cry for attention more or less. But there is always a possibility that it is AD-HD. It is a hereditary condition so look at the family history, did you or his father show similar symptoms when you were young? A key symptom of AD HD is not being able to focus, and since he clearly does not have that symptom and there is another logical explanation for the hyperactivity and actions at school, I would rule AD HD out. As for the jealousy, is his behavior worsen or does he act upset when the twins get attention? I would recommend taking him somewhere special like taking him out for ice cream, the park, or even let him choose ( not necessarily spoiling him). Set aside some time just to hang out together and if that doesn't solve the problem, take him to your local pediatrician and get a second opinion. Hope I helped, good luck :)

David asks…

Any advice on how to discipline my 7 y/o son and am I a bad mother?

When I discipline my children, I always remain calm, consistent and serious. I also reward them when they're behaving good. This has worked for my 14 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. However, this has not worked for my 7 year old son. When he was a baby, I tried to wean him off my breasts and he would cry for an hour and didn't sleep and didn’t take naps for 4 nights until I gave up gave him my breast. Then I took him off my breast for 1 month and he did not sleep for that entire month. 3 days after he turned 2, I threw away his bottle and pacifier. He cried for 1 month and did not sleep for 1 month. He always refused to take naps as a toddler and when he was in his bed he would not fall asleep. When he was 2, we were at the park and my son threw a stick at a 2 year old girl. I gave him a warning that if he threw the stick again, he would be in time out. He threw the stick and he was in time out. He kept getting up for 6 hours and later the girl came back and it took me 1 more hour to get him to apologize. He threw his plastic duck toys at me in the kitchen. I put him in time out and he would not apologize for 1 day no matter how many times I put him back. I can't get him to eat healthy foods. He threw a tantrum when I put him in time out. I told him if he doesn't eat his food he can't eat anything else, he would not eat for 5 days when I told him he had to eat healthy foods. He almost starved himself so I gave him junk food. I can't get him to fall asleep. When he was 4, I used Supernanny's bedtime technique and he kept getting up for the whole night. When it was 1:00 AM, I took away some of his toys, got down to his level and gave him a warning that I would take away the rest of his toys if he didn't go to bed and fall asleep and he didn't listen. His teacher keeps complaining that he can't focus and keeps getting up in class. 4 months ago, I was grocery shopping when my cell phone rang telling me to pick up my son from school because he threw a tape dispenser at a girl in his class. We had a meeting with my son's homeroom teacher, the principal, and the girl's parents. Her parents took her to the doctor to make sure she was OK. My son said he did it because the teacher put him in time out because he got up from his seat because the teacher told him to do his work and he said the teacher couldn't tell him what do. I grounded my son for a week and he was not allowed to use electronics for one week (including TV and computer). He got angry scratched me and told me he is the boss of himself and can do what he wants. 3 months ago at 3:00 AM, the police knocked on my door stating my son spray painted a few neighbors' cars. I had to stay in his room all night to make sure he doesn't sneak out and I'm tired because of this. In the morning, I looked at a few of the neighbors cars and they were covered in spray paint. I asked my son where did he got the spray paint and he said he took it from the neighbor's garage. He said he did it because he was angry at me because I didn't let him do what he wants. I didn't know what to do so I got him psychiatrically evaluated and tested for ADHD, HDD, Autism, Bi-polar, personality disorder, Huntington's disease, childhood/paranoid Schizophrenia, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. He was not violent with the psychiatrist but he did deny what I said he did. Medication didn't help him and he said he will continue to do what he wants. He did try to choke his 3 year old cousin in the summer while she and my cousin were staying. He still gets angry and violent. Any advice on how to discipline him and am I a bad mother?
He has an active father who also doesn't know what to do.

admin answers:

Wow! He sounds like a handful! You just need to keep going, and you can't let him take advantage of you. He needs to learn that you are the boss. If he does something bad, tell him that if he does it again that he will get ALL of his toys taken away. If he continues to act bad, take away, every single toy and electronic. Keep them for the rest of the day. At the end of the day, tell him that if he apologizes for what he ded and says that he wont do it ever again, he can have his toys back. If he won't apologize, keep his toys, until he apologizes. Make sure he doesn't play with any toys, watch tv, go on the computer, or play video games until he apologizes! You need to be tough on him, don't baby him. He is 7 and needs to act mature. Good Luck, hope I helped :)

Sandra asks…

What should I do about my 7 year old son?

Every school day his teacher states in his daily progress report that he disrupts the class. One day the teacher called me telling me to pick him up. He threw a tape dispenser at a girl in his class. We had a meeting with my son's homeroom teacher, his science teacher and the principal discussing his behavior. I grounded my son for a week and he was not allowed to watch TV. He also had to write an apology letter to the girl and her parents. One night at 3:00 AM, the police knocked on my door stating my son spray painted a few neighbors' cars. I had to stay in his room all night to make sure he didn't sneak out. I asked my son where did he get the spray paint and he said he took it from the neighbor's garage. I didn't no how to punish him. I took him to 6 different professionals to test him for behavior disorders including ADHD, HDD, Autism, Bipolar, personality disorders such as Psychopathy, etc and they all said he has nothing. I also got him tested for allergies and he had nothing. He refuses to eat healthy food no matter how many times I place him in time out. I have to feed him potato chips and cheese doodles because I don't want to starve him. He will not do his homework. One Sunday 8:56 AM, I asked him to make his bed and he refused so I put him in the naughty chair like Supernanny does and he kept getting up till past 7:00 PM. This has been going on since he as a toddler. When he was 1 and I did not want to give him what he wanted to eat, he would eat toothpaste, dust, etc. He had severe separation anxiety when he was an infant. He says he wants to do what he wants and will never listen to me. I also have a 14 year old son and a 10 year old daughter and non of them were like that.
I equally share my attention.

admin answers:

Take him to a doctor.

Carol asks…

Baby blues BEFORE having my second? Did you?

With my first, everything was new, we had a room set up, I was staring to have showers to go to, and it seemed my husband asked every day how it was going and wanted to feel the kicking. Since it was our first, I of course had lots of time to think about it, focus on things and get all ready - and now I've got a toddler so things are flying by.

With this one, the room won't be set up with a crib or anything until at least a month or two after he's born due to it being the guestroom (my mom will be staying there for a few weeks) and I know he'll be in our room until about 6 months anyway, he's #5 grandson on one side (so not much huzzahs over there), there are no showers (not that I want things, it was just the excitement over celebrating), hand me downs for ALL the clothes we need (which is great and saves us a lot of money) BUT it somehow just makes me feel disconnected and that he's just 'another kid' instead of something special - and that makes me feel HORRIBLE because he is/will be special.

I'm 23 weeks along and my husband hasn't felt him kick ONCE, even though I've told him it's bothering me he hasn't, when he's kicking but he just says that he's busy/tired or something. He works from home and I know that it's stressful, but still, it's just not the same this time. I feel like my husband isn't connected either.

With my first son (who is now 2), we didn't find out the sex beforehand and I was 100% sure it was a boy and was. We had names picked out for either sex, but just knew that it'd be a boy. With this one, we found out and don't have a name for him because nothing feels right to us and we had both been SO convinced it was going to be a girl. Not that I care what it is, just that it left me feeling disconnected because I wasn't right in what I was feeling and I had been SO convinced with my first son and was right. I feel like I'm somehow disconnected from this boy and I hate that I feel this way. I'm wishing I hadn't found out so that I could have just FELT connected and dealt with the surprise at the end when he was a boy - at least I'd have him here and not give it a second thought. (I am NOT a girly girl and this one was getting hand-me-downs either way - no pink buying frenzys or anything like that) I still don't feel that it's a boy, which is throwing me off more - I'm questioning the doctor saying "probably a boy" with the ultrasound - because the tech can't show us, we had to wait for a report - my doctor doesn't even see the pictures, just gets a boy/girl.

I've tried talking to my husband, making brand new blankets for this boy, going through the clothes to sort them out and get in the mood, set aside all the toys for him and painted a wall in the room that will be his, but I still just don't feel like I'm as excited, or connected like I was the first time. I'm afraid that this one won't feel as special as the first, as wanted or something silly like that. I already feel so bad that I don't feel the connection like I did with my first - it's making me miserable. I never felt any of this with my first pregnancy, I've been so much more emotional with this one.

Did anyone else feel like this with their second child?
Is it just me and my hormones?

I know once he's here I'll love him and none of this will bother me, and I'm VERY happy that so far he's healthy and developing well - but I've got 4 months to go and I don't want to spend the rest of this pregnancy feeling bad and disconnected. I just don't know what else to do to feel better and don't want to cry every day.

admin answers:

Oh i feel for you,i feel like you have just descibed my life lol,i have no answer to question but i am feeling the exact same way as you,we are expecting 4th **our second was stillborn** and i have two boys 4years and 10months im having another boy so will be using all my sons old things again which like you say is great for saving money but there is just no exitment **from other people anyway**im sure come near to our due date exitment and our moods will pick-up **wishing**

best of luck when the time come's
why dont you look out all the tiny baby stuff from your first boy and sit down with hubby and remanice i might get him all exited and cooing again!!!

Hope you feel better soon you have a little baby boy growing in there so cheer up for him and have a giggle lol

Powered by Yahoo! Answers